Living History Society Dance

[elizabeth_mn]

The LHS dance was okay, but I had a few complaints.  The LHS is so much more strict about the fussy little manners and ettiquette than the VSA.  Women DO NOT cross the ballroom unescorted.  Women do not refuse a gentleman's invitation to dance.  Women may only dance two dances with their husband.  Introductions are very proper, last  names only, and it was a bit difficut for some of the poeple that my husband is Mr. S--- and I am Ms. M--.  In fact, one woman scolded me for attempting to use the title Ms., and said that many other married women who have kept their original name just use their husband's name for events, and subtly suggested that I had better just be Mrs. S--- for the evening.  Hmm! 

Also, I started having a rather major sinus attack, and my nose started running like a faucet ( I don't know why; maybe dust, or someone's perfume set off my allergies).  After I (shock!  horror!) blew my nose in the ballroom, people stopped talking to me. 

The dancing was okay, but there were only a couple of figure dances.  I do not waltz, so that was out, and there were a couple dances that were advanced and specifically only for the members who had been practicing them.  The HB and I danced about 3 dances, then left during the intermission (after we had eaten some pie - ha!).  My nose felt really stuffed up, and I felt shunned for making social blunders, and I was tired of playing their stupid little manners game.

The point is, I had always gotten the feeling from VSA events that people liked to use the Victorian ettiquette because it was charming and made people feel good; it was about politeness and pleasantry.  But with these LHS people, the feeling was more that they really believe inside themselves that women are second-class humans, that we are less than men and we need to be reminded of it.  And the men seemed to like their postion at the top of the social structure a great deal, thankyouverymuch, and they felt no need to remember that this is in fact modern times, we've had this little thing called Feminism for quite a while now, and just because they are dressed up like it is 1860, that doesn't mean that women are worth any less than we are in 2007.

I hope the VSA autumn ball will be better.  Past experience stands to reason that it will be, but I am afraid of the negative effects of the recent crossover of members from LHS to VSA; in fact, the ball chairman is an LHS member.  In any case, I am determined to break as many rules of ettiquette as I feel like: I'm certainly going to cross the ballroom floor alone (I generally do anyway), I'm going to be Ms. M---, I will blow my nose as much as I like, I will dance every single dance with my husband, and I will talk about feminism to everyone I meet.

I do not want to be a Victorian - not even for an evening.  I just want to be myself, the only difference being that I want to have a place to wear the dresses I like to sew - I want to go dancing in them.  I suppose I really just want a costume guild.  

I thought I wanted to start a costume guild a few years ago, and I had one friend who was interested, and she did not sew.  So I decided I would try to teach everyone I knew to sew, and maybe after a while they would want to do costume stuff, but now I think that would probably take 10 years.  I think I had better just accept the fact that if I want to go to the sorts of costume events I dream of, I will have to travel far away to go to them, because they are not happening here, and I guess I can't make them happen.

Comments

[vanessa-lynne.livejournal.com]

I hear California is lovely in the winter time. . . :)

[ashamanja-babu.livejournal.com]

Hmm, maybe I can get my fairy godmother to materialize a plane ticket! :)

[sarahnucci.livejournal.com]

That's just sad. Really, it's fun to play the games if you want to, but it's not a personal reflection on you if you don't. I think you should run across the ball room unescorted while blowing your nose!

[ashamanja-babu.livejournal.com]

Ha! Good idea!

[green-martha.livejournal.com]

Ditto ! Who the hell do they think they are ? *grumps*

[oboegoddess.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's crazy how strict they were! I'm sad that I didn't get to see you or eat your pies, but I'm kind of relieved now that I didn't go the dance without a male escort. I bet they would never have let me dance with you like we do at ceilis, either.

I hope the next dance is better. I'll learn to sew and maybe eventually we can have a costume guild and have fun without pretending that feminism doesn't exist.

[ashamanja-babu.livejournal.com]

Actually, women dancing togther is considered okay. And on the one hand, I'm glad you didn't come because they were poop-heads, but on the other hand, it would have been more fun if you'd been there!

[nanaknits.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I hate really strict people. There are some people at the medieval faire I go to that are like that. Which is completely silly! You and I both know what year it is, and so does everyone else. It's just an excuse to dress up and have fun, not to suddenly become someone you're not in all the wrong ways.

[undycat.livejournal.com]

call me silly, but part of being well mannered is knowing that it's rude to point out other people's social gaffs. They don't sound like a very fun group.

Maybe it's time to try for a costumer's guild again. I've actually got time, space, desire and occasionally the means to sew again (I was in a bit of a slump last time). I've yet to meet someone in our part of the world complaining about too many costuming events around here.

[ashamanja-babu.livejournal.com]

I agree. And I've never heard complaints about too many costume events either! Perhaps we should give the guild another go.

[undycat.livejournal.com]

perhaps we should!

[ancient-days.livejournal.com]

*delurks*

I hope you two don't mind, but I just friended both of you, ashamanja and undycat. Ashamanja, I recently found your live journal from the T.V. message board (where I might still be registered as Mlle. Peony, but haven't posted anything in a very long time). I was a member of the VSA for a year, but never actually went to any of the events or meetings (mostly because I don't have a car and I didn't have much time or money to be sewing at that point). I don't want to join the LHS because I'm not ready to be that attentive to detail (and I'm not sure I ever want to be).

Anyway, I've been wishing we had something like the Greater Bay Area Costumer's Guild here, but didn't know how to find anyone who was interested in that. I like the general gist of the VSA, but I don't want to be limited to the Victorian era. I should disclose that while I can sew, I haven't had a lot of experience fitting things. (But I *really* want to learn to do it well.)

Hopefully my delurking and jumping in like this hasn't put you off. If you want to start a local guild, I'd like to be a part of that.

[ashamanja-babu.livejournal.com]

I don't mind at all! I'm glad to meet another local costume enthusiast!

Undycat and I are trying to draw up a plan; I'll definitely keep you in the loop.

[ancient-days.livejournal.com]

Sweet! Thanks!